Time to get off the merry go round!

As fun as it is the first couple of rounds, after awhile the thrill just isn’t there, you know what to expect, what is around every corner, and the smile starts to fade.

There is comfort in the familiar, and there is a season where that comfort may be even necessary. Like holding on to that pretty horse, not having to tell it where to go, not a care in the world! So the comfort and familiarity of having family close, of not really making any decisions on your own, can be mesmerizing. But like the merry go round, you easily loose yourself in it.

It happens slowly at first. Then suddenly you find yourself following everyone else’s lead, not knowing what you really want enough to be able to make your own decisions. And then you realize that you are glued to the dang horse and don't have a clue of how to get off!

As I write this, I realize that we did make a lot of changes quickly, that we have not remained completely in the familiar. Although we went through many changes, ( married, had two kids, moved to a new state, started a business) they all felt as if they were happening TO us, instead of because of us. Does this make sense? We only felt like we were reacting to the life that was thrown at us. We lacked the initiative, or the confidence or both, to start our own story. So instead, we tried to live the story we thought we should. We should start this business, we should raise our kids this way, we should serve God this way, we should make our parents happy. Full grown adults with children of our own and yet we have been living for the shoulds of life. I think we are finally ready to live the what ifs, the only God could do that through us, the lets try it and maybe fail. Now we just need to take that first step out of the boat, off the merry go round... wish we knew what that first step was...