First Steps

I love watching my kids take their first steps...

With my daughter, it was a lot of false starts before she actually took off. She lacked that confidence in her legs, she wasn’t willing to fall, to fail. She’s always been like that, not wanting to try something until she’s sure she will succeed. So much like me! I’m all for doing something as long as I know in my mind that I’m going to succeed, that I can accomplish the task!
Now my son, so much like his father, just went for it! He took charge of his legs and wanted to run before he even knew he could walk! Sure, he fell, still does now and then, but the fall, even the bruised knees, were never a set back for him. Just a stumble and right back up he went, on to charge into new territory wherever he saw it. In this picture he is letting me help him, but this is a rare occurrence. He wants to usually do things on his own, right away, and the falling is all part of the process. Something I think we can remember as we embark on this journey to change our Story, to make it better, to feel alive in what we are doing, in what we are about. There will be moments when we are living it and we know that we can do it, but there will be just as many failures and stumbles, that we have to overcome, that will bruise our knees. But the whole process is part of the story right! Donald Miller says a good story is about a character that wants something and has to overcome conflict to get it. And we all know when we work hard at something its worth more to us. So we are ready to do the hard work, to fail and fall, just really wish we could zero in on what it is that our character wants. Or what Kevin and I want seperately that can mesh together and compliment eachother so that it pulls our family together and ultimately pulls us into God’s greater bigger story. any thoughts?...

Time to get off the merry go round!

As fun as it is the first couple of rounds, after awhile the thrill just isn’t there, you know what to expect, what is around every corner, and the smile starts to fade.

There is comfort in the familiar, and there is a season where that comfort may be even necessary. Like holding on to that pretty horse, not having to tell it where to go, not a care in the world! So the comfort and familiarity of having family close, of not really making any decisions on your own, can be mesmerizing. But like the merry go round, you easily loose yourself in it.

It happens slowly at first. Then suddenly you find yourself following everyone else’s lead, not knowing what you really want enough to be able to make your own decisions. And then you realize that you are glued to the dang horse and don't have a clue of how to get off!

As I write this, I realize that we did make a lot of changes quickly, that we have not remained completely in the familiar. Although we went through many changes, ( married, had two kids, moved to a new state, started a business) they all felt as if they were happening TO us, instead of because of us. Does this make sense? We only felt like we were reacting to the life that was thrown at us. We lacked the initiative, or the confidence or both, to start our own story. So instead, we tried to live the story we thought we should. We should start this business, we should raise our kids this way, we should serve God this way, we should make our parents happy. Full grown adults with children of our own and yet we have been living for the shoulds of life. I think we are finally ready to live the what ifs, the only God could do that through us, the lets try it and maybe fail. Now we just need to take that first step out of the boat, off the merry go round... wish we knew what that first step was...